Dr. Leahcim Semaj
Psychologist | Author | Speaker | Workshops | Management Consultant | Spiritual Guide | Social Philosopher
Recently, I drafted my obituary, a practice I regularly undertake to reflect on the legacy I aspire to leave. This exercise serves as a poignant reminder of the transient nature of life and the importance of living with purpose and intention.
My life is simple: On hearing of the passing of my contemporaries I first give thanks for having known them and for what they consciously or unconsciously have contributed to my life. Next, I express gratitude that my life has been extended. Next. I drop to the ground and do ten pushups. I then ask myself how should I best use my time TODAY? What will give me joy THIS YEAR? THIS MONTH? THIS WEEK? TODAY? NOW?
‘Yet you do not know [the least thing] about what may happen tomorrow. What is the nature of your life? You are [really] but a wisp of vapor (a puff of smoke, a mist) that is visible for a little while and then disappears [into thin air]’. – James 4:14
Unlike the youth who believe that they will live forever, I now know better. Now is the time to put as much living into every day of my life. I have given all that I could to raise, socialize and educate my children and they all now have sustainable lives. Now, my most important aspiration is to live a healthy and happy life, one day at a time.
Death, though inevitable, profoundly influences how we choose to live. It underscores the value of time, the significance of our relationships, and the necessity of authenticity in our daily lives. It’s telling that no one, when facing the end, wishes they had spent more time at work; instead, regrets often revolve around missed opportunities for love and personal fulfillment.
While our physical existence is finite, we achieve a form of immortality through the memories we create, the values we impart, and the lives we touch. As long as our names are spoken and our contributions remembered, our essence endures. Regularly revisiting and updating my obituary is not a morbid task but a reflective practice that ensures my current actions align with the legacy I hope to leave.
Grief is a deeply personal journey, often encompassing stages such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, it’s essential to understand that this process isn’t linear. Initially, denial can serve as a protective mechanism, allowing us to gradually absorb the reality of loss. Such experiences can challenge our beliefs, but with time and support, many find their way to acceptance, carrying forward the love and lessons of those they’ve lost.
One of the most poignant aspects of loss is the regret of unfinished conversations and unspoken words. As the proverb reminds us, we cannot predict what each day holds. This underscores the importance of expressing love, appreciation, and forgiveness while we have the opportunity.
Hope is a vital force that propels us forward, even in our darkest moments. It’s said that while a person can survive weeks without food and days without water, they can scarcely endure a moment without hope. Faith, too, plays a crucial role in navigating grief, offering solace and strength when faced with fear and uncertainty.
To actively engage in the healing process:
Express Your Emotions: Sharing your feelings can alleviate the weight of grief and foster connections with others who understand your pain.
Seek Support: Surround yourself with friends, family, or professional counselors. Joining support groups can provide comfort through shared experiences.
Prioritize Self-Care: Ensure you’re attending to your physical health by maintaining a balanced diet, getting adequate rest, and engaging in regular exercise.
Maintain Hope: Recognize that healing is a journey. Embrace hope as a guiding light through the process.
In essence, while death brings profound sorrow, it also offers an opportunity to reflect on our lives, cherish our relationships, and strive to leave a meaningful legacy. By confronting our mortality with openness and courage, we can find strength and purpose amidst the pain.
“Your obituary is not about how you died. It’s about how you lived.”
“What would your obituary say if it were written today?”
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A Note to My Readers
I write not to convince or convert, but simply to share insights gained from years of observation, study, and experience. What I offer here are perspectives — reflections meant to inspire thought, not debates.
If my words resonate with you, I welcome that. If they do not, I invite you to simply take what serves you and leave the rest.
My consultation sessions are quite different. They are sacred spaces where I partner with individuals who are seeking clarity, transformation, and growth in their own lives. If that is what you desire, I would be honored to assist you.
Until then, may you continue your journey with curiosity and grace.
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