Dr. Leahcim Semaj
Psychologist | Author | Social Philosopher | Spiritual Guide | Management Consultant
Welcome to this edition of the Semaj MindSpa, where we explore the quiet revolutions reshaping how we live, love, and age. Today, we delve into one of the fastest-growing — yet rarely celebrated — social trends of our time: being over 60 and single.
Once considered a tragic or pitiful fate, singleness in the later stages of life is increasingly being embraced as a choice, a freedom, and a path to self-fulfillment.
Why Are So Many People Single After 60?
Let’s begin with the facts. According to the Pew Research Center, nearly 30% of U.S. adults aged 50 and older are now single. The number of people aged 65 and older who live alone has climbed steadily, and by 2023, over 16 million older adults in the U.S. were living alone — the highest number in recorded history.
Among them, women over 60 are the fastest-growing segment of single adults. This rise is linked not only to gray divorce — the term for divorces among adults 50 and older — but also to a growing cultural shift in which aging adults no longer define their worth by partnership status. As of recent data, the percentage of single individuals over 60 in the U.S. varies notably between men and women.
Men Over 60: Approximately one-third of men over 60 are single, encompassing those who have never married, are divorced, or are widowed. Specifically, among men aged 65 and older, about 21% are single.
Women Over 60: In contrast, nearly half (49%) of women aged 65 and older are single. This higher percentage is influenced by factors such as longer female life expectancy and a tendency among older women to remain single after divorce or widowhood.
Summary
| Age Group | Men Single (%) | Women Single (%) |
|---|---|---|
| 60+ | ~33% | — |
| 65+ | 21% | 49% |
These statistics highlight a significant gender disparity in singleness among older adults, with women over 65 being more than twice as likely to be single compared to their male counterparts.
Freedom Over Fantasy
Many people are discovering that singleness offers something that even some long-term marriages do not: peace, autonomy, and self-assurance. One woman in her 80s, divorced four times, joyfully declared that she now “prefers flying solo.” Her reason? “I really like my own company.”
It turns out she’s not alone. Research shows that self-confidence peaks between ages 60 and 70, making this an ideal time for personal reflection and independence. A new cohort of women and men are realizing they don’t need a partner to be complete. They need purpose, community, and wellness.
Is Love Off the Table? Not Necessarily. But It’s Not the Main Course.
A growing number of over-60 singles are stepping away from dating apps — discouraged by poor matches, ageism, and superficial interactions. In a revealing study by Pew, women over 50 were the most likely group to describe their online dating experience as negative.
Instead of chasing traditional romance, many are channeling their energy into more nourishing forms of connection:
- Intergenerational friendships
- Volunteer work and mentoring
- Creative pursuits and personal growth
- Deep platonic relationships and spiritual intimacy
Single, Not Lonely: The Realities and the Risks
Of course, choosing to be single later in life does come with challenges. Older adults living alone face higher risks of:
- Social isolation and loneliness
- Cognitive decline
- Delayed medical attention in emergencies
- Financial vulnerability (especially post-divorce)
But many are rising to the occasion with intentional strategies to safeguard their well-being:
- Emergency alert systems and neighbor check-ins
- Downsizing and simplifying living arrangements
- Setting up advance directives and postnuptial agreements
- Building a robust support network of friends and community ties
Postnuptial Agreements: A Rising Trend
One emerging tool in the age of later-life self-protection is the postnup — a legal agreement made during marriage to define terms in the event of a separation. These are increasingly used by older couples navigating evolving needs, especially when second or third marriages and adult children are involved.
6 Ways to Thrive as a Single Over 60
- Embrace Autonomy – Reclaim your time, space, and choices.
- Cultivate Self-Knowledge – You now have the wisdom and hindsight to know what you want — and what you won’t tolerate.
- Nurture Friendships – Longevity researchers confirm that strong social connections are more powerful predictors of a long life than even exercise or diet.
- Stay Sexually Alive – Being single doesn’t mean the end of intimacy. In fact, it can reignite sexual agency on your own terms.
- Invest in Wellness – Your body and mind are your primary partners now. Move. Meditate. Heal.
- Plan for Safety – Put emergency protocols in place and share them with trusted neighbors or friends.
From Solitude to Sovereignty
If you are over 60 and single — whether by choice, circumstance, or transition — know this: You are not broken. You are not “left behind.” You may very well be ahead of your time.
In the Anchor Leg of Life, many are finding that what they once feared — solitude — has become their sanctuary.
Remember: The Best Is Yet to Come.
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A Note to My Readers
I write not to convince or convert, but simply to share insights gained from years of observation, study, and experience. What I offer here are perspectives — reflections meant to inspire thought, not debates.
If my words resonate with you, I welcome that. If they do not, I invite you to simply take what serves you and leave the rest.
My consultation sessions are quite different. They are sacred spaces where I partner with individuals who are seeking clarity, transformation, and growth in their own lives. If that is what you desire, I would be honored to assist you.
Until then, may you continue your journey with curiosity and grace.
I thought this post was more aimed at women. Of course some of us like myself have not yet been married and still are searching to be financially stable having found the job that allows that. Some have not yet had a child or do have children. I do have a son which is an important accomplishment. Thank you for poking into our minds options/ possibilities for our interaction with the world at our age. News to me was being sexually active which we may like if it were a stable relationship which I think would lead to a marital arrangement…🙂 My mind has gone back to requiring the standard upheld in society. So I do feel I have not yet accomplished that status of marriage but thrive and pray.
The reality is that women over 65 are more than twice as likely to be single compared to their male counterparts. We need viable solution to companionship, love and intimacy.
Well I think of Monte Blake and Tomlin Ellis. Even Richie Clarke well he’s married I believe but his girlfriend died in covid…I wonder about Mordy Brown too…so when considering to share with the Merritone family members….since the men may feel left out. Can you do 1 for men in that solitaire position? Thank you.
Great idea.
This is a test comment.
Dr Sandra