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Dr. Leahcim Semaj
Psychologist | Author | Quantum Transformation Facilitator
The Semaj MindSpa — Where Mind, Spirit, and Science Meet

A Semaj MindSpa Blog on Aging, Desire, and Rediscovering Intimacy

“You don’t stop having sex because you grow old. You grow old because you stop having sex.” — George Burns

Introduction: A Hidden Dimension of Aging

In a culture that often views older adults as asexual and invisible, we dare to challenge that myth. Welcome to a space where desire doesn’t retire and sensuality doesn’t expire. This conversation is long overdue. Inspired by a provocative Fast Company article and the pioneering work of Joan Price – author, educator, and advocate for senior sexuality—this blog dives into a topic that many shy away from: sex after 70. Also drawing from Episode 23 of How to Thrive in Retirement, we explore how intimacy, desire, and physical connection can still flourish well into our 70s, 80s, and beyond.

The Data Doesn’t Lie: Seniors Are Still Getting It On

Contrary to outdated beliefs, a majority of seniors remain sexually active into their 70s and 80s. A 2020 study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that:

• More than 54% of partnered individuals aged 65–74 reported being sexually active.
• Among those aged 75–85, one in four had sex at least once a week.
• Masturbation, oral sex, and mutual stimulation remain common.
• Yet, senior sexuality is often still treated as taboo or even laughable in mainstream culture.

The truth? Desire doesn’t disappear, it simply adapts.

From Grief to Growth: Love and Lust After Loss

Joan Price met the love of her life at 57. They shared an exuberant sex life until he passed away from cancer. Rather than retreating into mourning, she chose to become a voice for seniors who still wanted and deserved, intimacy.

Grieving a partner doesn’t mean your desire dies too. In fact, many are left with unanswered questions:

• Is it okay to still want sex after loss?
• How soon is too soon to date again?
• Can desire survive when your partner has Alzheimer’s?

Her fourth book, Sex After Grief, directly addresses these questions, offering hope, healing, and permission to reclaim sexual agency at any age.

The New Tools of Intimacy: Innovation Meets Inclusion

As aging bodies change, so do the logistics of sex:

• Women may face vaginal dryness or tightness.
• Men may struggle with erectile function.
• Joint pain, surgeries, or chronic illnesses can limit movement and flexibility.

But the marketplace is catching up. Companies like Hot Octopuss are designing innovative sex toys specifically for aging users. Their flagship product allows for hands-free stimulation even without an erection, a breakthrough for couples with physical limitations.

Older adults are now 50% of their customer base.

This represents more than just product innovation. It’s about visibility, inclusivity, and respect.

Online Desires: The Internet Confirms What the Culture Denies

Search data reveals something striking:

• People over 55 make up 11% of Pornhub’s traffic, though they are only about 4% of the U.S. population.
• Those aged 55–64 are 245% more likely to search “mature amateur” and 167% more likely to search “hot granny” than younger users.

We are not just witnessing a silent revolution in senior bedrooms, we are watching it play out across digital spaces, albeit quietly and often without acknowledgment.

It’s Time to Normalize Elder Intimacy

Let’s be honest: societal discomfort with senior sex is rooted in ageism, not biology. There is no expiration date on affection, arousal, or emotional closeness.

As Price advocates, we must redefine sex beyond penetration:

• Cuddling, massage, mutual touch, and verbal intimacy can all nourish connection.
• Toys and lubricants are tools of pleasure, not signs of inadequacy.
• Communication becomes even more crucial with age, as does creativity.

The goal is not to imitate the sex of youth, but to embrace the full, rich, adaptive sexuality of later life.

Let’s Unlearn the Myths

What if the deepest, most profound intimacy lies ahead?

Price’s collaborations, like her co-directed educational film Sex After 60 with Jessica Drake, showcase older adults demonstrating healthy, consensual, pleasurable sex on screen. This bold effort demystifies and destigmatizes late-life desire.

These are not “dirty” stories. They are human stories. Sacred stories.

The Takeaway: The Best Is Yet to Come

As we move into what I call the Anchor Leg of Life, we must shed the shame and embrace the sensual.

Sex after 70 isn’t over. It’s evolving.

And in this evolution lies an opportunity for healing, discovery, and joy.

Questions to Ask Yourself

• Have I internalized limiting beliefs about aging and sexuality?
• Am I open to new forms of pleasure and connection?
• What support or tools do I need to reclaim my intimacy?

Explore More

If you found this insightful, explore the companion books – available on Amazon.

• “The Best is Yet to Come: A Psychologist’s Guide to Thriving in Retirement”
• “Body Works: Exercise, Fitness, Strength and Longevity for the Anchor Leg”

Let’s continue this journey toward vibrant, unapologetic aging.

You don’t retire from life. You rewrite it.
Let’s thrive—not just survive—in the second half.

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A Note to My Readers

I write not to convince or convert, but simply to share insights gained from years of observation, study, and experience. What I offer here are perspectives — reflections meant to inspire thought, not debates.

If my words resonate with you, I welcome that. If they do not, I invite you to simply take what serves you and leave the rest.

My consultation sessions are quite different. They are sacred spaces where I partner with individuals who are seeking clarity, transformation, and growth in their own lives. If that is what you desire, I would be honored to assist you.

Until then, may you continue your journey with curiosity and grace.